I kinda feel like a total hipster and I'm not entirely sure what to make of that. ;p
(Dude, can I do this all the time? Only, ya know, without the boss? Pretty please with strawberries and sprinkles and Bailey's whipped cream?)
I'm a little more driven to get my ass the hell back out of the corporate world once and for all lately. Why? Because I'm back in it and realizing that after 3 years out, I really do hate it. Sure, there are aspects I like. Mainly, though, these are things like my co-workers (who are a pretty decent bunch of guys), it's an occasional outlet for my slightly neurotic organizational tendencies (it's a little harder with this at the moment, as my office is something like 95% paperless, which is awesome environmentally, but sad-making when you actually like filing), and I'm particularly fond of the steady paycheck and the whole health insurance gig.
Okay, I REALLY like that last part. ;)
What I don't like is that my job doesn't really do anything, well, meaningful. It's just that...a job. My entire job is to tell people things like "No really, I promise that all you have to do is click on the damned link I sent you and it'll do exactly what you need. CLICK THE LINK FOR THE LOVE OF TOAST ALREADY, YOU BLOODY MORON!!!" (Usually in much more polite and professional words, but the sentiment is there.)
Recently, my extended family has been going through a rough emotional patch (the matriarch of the family, my eldest aunt, is at the end of her time with us) and it's making me take a good, hard look at my own time on this earth. See, I don't come from one of those families who live to their 80's, 90's, or maybe beyond. Our expiration date seems to be somewhere around 70 or so. (The longest living relative that I know of was my maternal grandmother who made it to the ripe old age of about 74.)
What does this mean for me? It means that at 35, I'm very likely officially middle-aged. I'm at the halfway point, and I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT. With a rough retirement age of 67 or so, I'm quite literally staring down the cold, hard fact that I'm very likely to work right up until the day I die.
I can't even begin to express how badly I do not want to spend that time working at something that I have no real attachment to, that doesn't give me anything except a paycheck.
First thing's first, though. I have no choice but to pick something to focus on, hone in on, and rock the shit out of to make a living off of. Weirdly enough, that's likely to be the hardest part for me. I'm too much the gypsy wanderer, and picking one thing feels an awful lot like settling in one place, and well, that gets boring quickly. ;)
Which is why I'm pretty damned sure that I'm going to be taking a good long look at my photography and what I can do with it.
This weekend's project, though? Sit down with a notebook and start drawing out a map...where I want to go, what roads I need to walk to get there, what I'll need to pack to take with me and what I'll need to sell or store while I'm out on the road.
As Bilbo said "It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
Time to step out that door.
I'm a little more driven to get my ass the hell back out of the corporate world once and for all lately. Why? Because I'm back in it and realizing that after 3 years out, I really do hate it. Sure, there are aspects I like. Mainly, though, these are things like my co-workers (who are a pretty decent bunch of guys), it's an occasional outlet for my slightly neurotic organizational tendencies (it's a little harder with this at the moment, as my office is something like 95% paperless, which is awesome environmentally, but sad-making when you actually like filing), and I'm particularly fond of the steady paycheck and the whole health insurance gig.
Okay, I REALLY like that last part. ;)
What I don't like is that my job doesn't really do anything, well, meaningful. It's just that...a job. My entire job is to tell people things like "No really, I promise that all you have to do is click on the damned link I sent you and it'll do exactly what you need. CLICK THE LINK FOR THE LOVE OF TOAST ALREADY, YOU BLOODY MORON!!!" (Usually in much more polite and professional words, but the sentiment is there.)
Recently, my extended family has been going through a rough emotional patch (the matriarch of the family, my eldest aunt, is at the end of her time with us) and it's making me take a good, hard look at my own time on this earth. See, I don't come from one of those families who live to their 80's, 90's, or maybe beyond. Our expiration date seems to be somewhere around 70 or so. (The longest living relative that I know of was my maternal grandmother who made it to the ripe old age of about 74.)
What does this mean for me? It means that at 35, I'm very likely officially middle-aged. I'm at the halfway point, and I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT. With a rough retirement age of 67 or so, I'm quite literally staring down the cold, hard fact that I'm very likely to work right up until the day I die.
I can't even begin to express how badly I do not want to spend that time working at something that I have no real attachment to, that doesn't give me anything except a paycheck.
First thing's first, though. I have no choice but to pick something to focus on, hone in on, and rock the shit out of to make a living off of. Weirdly enough, that's likely to be the hardest part for me. I'm too much the gypsy wanderer, and picking one thing feels an awful lot like settling in one place, and well, that gets boring quickly. ;)
Which is why I'm pretty damned sure that I'm going to be taking a good long look at my photography and what I can do with it.
This weekend's project, though? Sit down with a notebook and start drawing out a map...where I want to go, what roads I need to walk to get there, what I'll need to pack to take with me and what I'll need to sell or store while I'm out on the road.
As Bilbo said "It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
Time to step out that door.
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